Because I'm sitting here with my Campari & soda and a plateful of pasta and broccoli rabe, and I just don't get it.
Also, revised recipe for the only character-themed drink I've ever done -- the Miles Edgeworth, because it is bitter and sparkling and exactly the right shade of red-pink-whatever:
Put a handful of ice cubes in a highball glass. Add 1-1.5 jiggers Campari, four dashes orange bitters, and fill with soda water. Stir gently.
Original recipe was 1 jigger Campari and a half-jigger Grand Marnier, no bitters. The new version is much drier, and has all of the orange kick without the muddying effect of the sugar.